I gotta thinkin' about this Rapture stuff and I really didn't believe it. But ya' know I'm the kinda guy that likes to hedge his bets so I looked up some stuff on the Internet. That's the place to look for factual information ya' know. So. I found a site that listed the qualifications for "good people". Ya see if you're not one of them you won't get to go on the bus.
So I read the info and I found that I was kinda deficient in a few areas so I found a site that had information about how to correct personal defects. The site offered to certify me if I gave them my credit card number and took a test to see if, after reading the study material, I was able to pass the exam. I DID! Lucky for me they graded on the curve.
So they sent me an email with an attachment that included a barcode. I printed it out and kept it with me until the moment came. I have it on me in the photo above as a matter of fact. So.
When the Rapture came I was prepared. Ya' know it wasn't so bad. It seemed like after a great big puff I kinda drifted off to a really mellow place and kinda blissed out. The sound of the Rapture Bus' horn jolted me and I stumbled to the bus stop, got on board and showed the driver my ticket and then took a seat. I drifted off again. I don't know how much time went by. I was startled again by the sudden stop of the bus of escape and low and behold I arrived in heaven! At least that's what I thought it was. Lots of my friends were there to greet the bus and welcome me. It was really humid although everyone had on coats, hats and gloves. Then an orientation was called and we all went into this big conference room. The welcoming speaker was already at the front of the room. I didn't have a camera to take his photo but I drew a sketch of the scene. It's just below:
It was then that I realized where I was. At first I was frightened. I mean, I know about PowerPoint Presentations! 666 slides was the worst I could imagine! Well after the orientation we all went outside and....you're not gonna believe this....but Hell looks exactly like where I was before the Rapture came and took me away. Same screwy world with all kinds of weirdos and dangers lurking everywhere. So. I said to myself, "Self, this ain't so bad. You've already been to a place just like this so you'll get used to it and cope". Then I guy next to me, who had been here for quite a while told me that although I think I will be able to adapt, what I didn't know was that this is where I'm gonna spend eternity. I wonder if I can challenge the purchase at that website that sold the bus pass.
The first positive thing happened just before I started this post. I found a FREE WI-FI hotspot. Now I'll be able to post from here and let you in on some of the things that go on around here. Who knows? Maybe you are already here and just don't know it yet. Until then.......
Photo taken with Photo Booth
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