Thursday, September 09, 2010
I AGREE WITH SARAH PALIN
The contract was in a dumpster awaiting shredding when Ashli Briggs, Alicia Lewis and some of their friends at CSU rescued it. Here are the most notable and funniest parts:
1) Sarah Palin is scared of real questions from real America. Audience questions must be pre-screened: ""For Q&A, the questions are to be collected from the audience in advance, pre-screened and a designated representative... shall ask questions directly of the Speaker."
2) Palin needs two bottles of water near her lectern. And "bendable straws are to be placed in or near the wooden lectern." Presumably for drinking the water, but they could also be used to illustrate vividly the horns of the devil as he congratulates Obama on Obamacare.
3) Like much of America, Palin likes to be transported in large vehicles: If she's not being flown first class commercial from Anchorage, "the private aircraft MUST BE a Lear 60 or larger." As for ground transportation: "transportation will be by SUV(s) from a professionally licensed and insured car service. If SUV(s) are not available, black town cars may be substituted"
4) Sarah Palin needs three hotel rooms: "A pre-registered one-bedroom suite and two single rooms in a deluxe hotel." One of those hotel rooms is just for her folksy sayings. Another is for if she needs to personally apply advanced interrogation techniques to any terrorists she comes across.
5) No word on the fee, though. Palin has been known to make $100,000 for a speaking engagement; CSU reportedly paid her $75,000. (That's $75,001.99 if you factor in the bendy straws.)
Nothing too rock-star going on here, really. But, bendy straws! Is America ready for a president whose straws must be articulated?